Ethical Dilemma: How does one rid the darling broccoli of green caterpillars without having to actually murder the litte multi-legged herbivores?
Proposal A: I gather them gently into my hand, then rest them atop my compost heap.
Ethical questions: Will they survive? If they do, are they content? And why, then, wouldn't they munch on my kitchen waste to start with? If they don't survive, is this a fate more cruel than pulvarising their internal organs instantanously upon discovery?
Proposal B: I fling them as delicate projectiles onto the lawn, three metres south of the broccoli.
Ethical questions: Do they simply crawl back to their spiritual green rooms? If they do, how long does it take? Is it a perilous journey? Do small birds or spiders eat them, therefore making this decision ethically balanced?
Proposal C: I squish them between my fingers.
Ethical questions: How would I cope with their lime juice innards all over my hands? Would the guilt of murder outweigh the sense of moral duty to the survival of the broccoli?
Any suggestions folks? All kinds of hypothetically-posed, philosophically-leaning answers welcome....
Garlic spray darling Josephine.
ReplyDeleteWhat about a version of the Inuit mercy killing? Set up a specific place to leave the little monsters out as offerings to the garden gods (and willy wagtails)?
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand they could provide some cheap organic protein! Tastes like chicken!
I could possibly lean towards the mercy-killing style. And I do have a particular penchant for willy-wagtails....
ReplyDeleteThanks Mum,....uh, I mean, Anonymous, for your succint and practical suggestion. (thank god for mums and their logic). Any chance you could describe exactly how to concoct this new age potion you call "Garlic Spray"?
(Nursing at keyboard=bad typing) I used to have the same dilewmma with my snail population. I love snails, no really love their adorable little feelers and pretty shells. But they hammered my my garden. ate everything from basil to spinach to beans, everything. It took me about 3 years and many failed methods, (dropping in hot salted water? Oh the horror) before finding that throwing them against a brick wall did the job. just look at it in terms of energy redistribution. in the oneness of the universe the energy is... um... passing to... um... the soil. or something. man.
ReplyDeleteCripes karli, I couldn't thrust these little marshmellow tubulars against the wall. And the hot water dunking reminds me too much of childhood yabbies squealing as they were thrown casually into the pot by my proud, murderous brother.
ReplyDeleteI have not managed to thwart the little greenbloods by my current methods (picking them off and casting them, alive into the neighbour's yard). My touchy, feely, dr doolittle , loving all the earth's animals feelings are waning though. I may reach for.... The Boot. ... stay tuned.